Where to Start to Be Kind

Hello,
It's Sunita here.

"Be kind". I see this sign every day. It hangs between my writing sanctuary and my work space. I spotted it a few months ago while browsing at a store that sells cute stuff. And inspirational sayings, in all forms. Pillows, signs, wall hangings, stationary, mugs and sundries.

What does it mean to be kind.  Kind is an adjective. The definition of kind is
1 a : of a sympathetic or helpful nature (was helped by a kind neighbor)
   b : of a forbearing nature : Gentle (kind treatment of animals)
   c : arising from or characterized by sympathy or forbearance ( a kind act)
2    : of a kind to give pleasure or relief (cooled by a kind breeze)
3   Chiefly dialectal : Affectionate, loving

Source: Merriam Webster dictionary

We are taught to be kind to others from an early age. It feels great when we are the recipient of kindness from another person. But now, looking through my lens of Self Love Self Care First, I note how I was never encouraged to be kind to myself. By anyone. Not by my parents, not by my teachers, not by my friends. I always thought of kindness as something that I was supposed to offer to others.

I am down with that. I love being kind. I feel awful about myself when I am not. But being kind has always been in relationship to others. Never has kindness been about being kind to myself.

Until recently.

Now, having the understanding that I do, I practice self love first. Such a basic concept has changed my life. And that of everyone around me. Because I am a much better person when I treat myself with love, consideration and kindness.

When I see the sign Be Kind as I move about my work space, I am instantly reminded to be kind to myself. Instead of getting frustrated and down on myself when I don't succeed at something, I consciously decide to appreciate my determination to get it right. I give myself kudos for having the motivation to overcome the barriers to accomplishing what I want to. 

That instantly relieves the pressure of judgment and disapproval. And it gives me patience to work through what I have to, without resorting to being miserable to be around. 

It has simply changed the game for me.

I stuck this note on my door so that every time I enter my room, I read it. My brain registers the message of self love first and I am reminded to be kind to me. That leads me to a state of calm, optimism and creativity which spreads to my environment. And makes me want to be more kind to others.

It now makes no sense to me to offer kindness to others while I viciously tear myself down. When I suffered from the ravages of the effects of trauma, I routinely neglected myself in ways that were invisible. Not offering myself kindness was one of the more commonly used methods of self punishment.

So to answer the question- Where to start to Be Kind?

With yourself! 

If you need to put up reminders to show compassion and love for yourself, do it. Eventually, you will become a pro at Self Love and will know when you are out of sync with yourself and be able to find a way to get back into a Self Love Self Care First mode.

Good luck :)

Wishing you a week full of kindness,

With love,

Sunita

#selfloveselcarefirst#kindness#selflove#selfcompassion